Tatie Goes Bang

Yesterday, Jess alerted me to a Waterstone's competition which involved writing a story on one side of a postcard then uploading it.  I thought about submitting one of my sonnets, then I wrote a new story about Jesters, then I considered using the mock blackmail letter to Mr Webster about Romeo and Juliet.  All of them seemed plausible.  Then Jess mentioned illustrations or photos, and I realised it would be perfect if I wrote a story about a funny photo.  And here is the finished product:

Opportunistic Photograph

Enjoy. :)

If you knew you were about to lose your voice permanently, what is the last thing you would want to say?
Submitted by exer.

"FUCK YOU!", and (optional): "... ya cunting cunts!"

Show us your favorite summer fruit.
Submitted by [this is connie].

PEACHES OR MANGOES! LOL!

Show us what you're working on right now.
Submitted by yygall.

Twice Over cover

1 comment

A rough sketch of the cover for Twice Over.  This would be great as a painting, or a photo.  I REALLY want this as a photo.  Don't know where I'll hire an army, though.  Or a crossbow for that matter.

What fictional character do you relate to most and why?

I can't really bring to mind any character I *relate to* as such, but there is one character who has an alarming number of parallels with me.  Yep, that's right: Hermione Granger.

I will proceed to list the parallels that I have with Hermione, in the hope that you, too, may be freaked out:

1) We both have bushy brown hair

2) We both have slightly elongated front teeth

3) Our birthday is September 19th

4) We are both academically inclined to the point of annoyance

5) Teachers dote on us

6) We both have an affinity with Otters

7) I am a law student; Hermione ends up working for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement

8) Both of us had our first dates with guys called Victor

Scary, huh??

What personality trait has gotten you in the most trouble? 

My strange, subconscious desire to make life more dramatic and difficult than it already is.  And it really is subconscious.  Back in Maths Methods, I would always unwittingly try to solve a problem the hard way, completely unaware that there were shortcuts.  Dammit!!! 

***************

 

Myrrens Gift Quickening Trilogy

Fiona McIntosh

I just finished reading "Myrren's Gift" - and the ending actually made me want to read the rest of the trilogy!  Up until the last 100 pages or so, I was doubting that I would get around to the other books.  But the end just blew me away - it was absolutely hilariously shockingly... PREDICTABLE!  Which, I suppose, is why I liked it so much.  Yep.  Gotta keep reading ;)

Show us something you don't understand.

Paper

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SOME PEOPLE WASTE HOURS AND HOURS STUDYING FOR BLOODY EXAMS!

I mean, sure.  I study for exams very thoroughly myself.  BUT I DON'T STAY HOME ALL DAY AND DO NOTHING BUT STUDY!!! WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE *WILLINGLY* STAY AT HOME ALL WEEKEND JUST FOR A FUCKING FEW SHEAFS OF PAPER TO BE SCRAWLED UPON AT THE END OF THE YEAR?! WE'RE YOUNG AND WE WON'T LIVE FOREVER! GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ARSES OR YOU'LL FUCKING REGRET IT FOREVER!

STOP. FUCKING. STUDYING. ALL. DAY. AND. GET. A. LIFE

****************

Well, perhaps I *do* understand it a little bit.  Many people are pressured by parents to score highly and due to the threat of being dishonoured, disgraced or even disowned, they stay and home and study.  This I understand.

But it's those people who have a choice about these things that I really do not understand.  Their parents aren't hard on them, and they have opportunities to go out and have fun.  And they choose to study instead.  This is understandable if it's the day before an exam or an important assessment.  But when it's not, and they still refuse?  What IS that?  What PROMPTS that!?  What do they want to prove to the world?  To themselves?  That they're all *disciplined* and *hardworking*?  That they're somehow BETTER than those other *unsavoury youths* who run wild on the streets?  That they're smarter than everyone else?!

HA!

Well, sorry, you're none of those things.  Discipline means knowing when to give yourself some *you* time.  It means acknowledging your obligations to yourself and your friends.  Hard work doesn't mean studying hours and hours.  Hard work is definitely quality over quantity.  It's those that study effectively, not those that study long hours for the sake of it, that are really hardworking.  And *better*?  Get over yourselves.  You have proved your own stupidity by not taking advantage of your own youth and energy; you obviously have no idea what it's like to be old and weary.  And as for being smarter... sorry, scoring highly on exams is not a measure of intelligence, it's how you function and interact as a human being in relation with other people, society, and the world that makes you *smart*.  It's how *aware* you are of the world's problems, how willing you are to make a difference, how far you will go to make life better for the billions around us that truly measures what an intelligent, compassionate and determined person you are.  Some of the most academically inclined people in the world are tyrants, bullies, criminals and frankly just destroyers of humanity.

But that is another discussion for another day.  For now, I say this.  We're students, and we're young and full of life and potential, and all we want to do is have a good time.

So go and have a good time.  Go give your life some well-earned balance.  Study what you need to study, then drop the books and go hang out with friends.  You are so lucky to have the opportunities you have; many youths around the world are bound by poverty, religion, family pressure and oppression.  So stop acting like you're an old scholar ready to drop dead.  LIVE!!!!!!

List five reasons (at least) why you are awesome.
Submitted by goobers18.

YAY! VOX IS WORKING AGAIN! WAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy I can finally blog again!!!!! YAYYYYYY!

OK, down to business:

1.  I finished Nanowrimo twice, and *one* of them is an awesomely disturbing novel that works

2.  I'm going to be a French citizen thanks to a new law that makes me French without doing anything...

3.  Fifty Lit.

4.  Six years of high school, being mischievous, rude, flirtatious and mean to teachers... and still only one detention

5.  I listen to Rob Dougan

6.  I got knighted

7.  I do sex jokes, I swear every sentence and still get away with it

8.  I punch hard, like, really hard

Are you a good dancer or do you have two left feet?  What's your signature dance move?

I cannot dance.  But I dance.  Oh, hell, I dance.  And my signature dance move involves waving a scarf/sash/bottle or even just my arm in the air and whirling it around in convulsive gyrations, all the while spinning madly around and crashing into people.  That is the Marie Dance.

The Marie Dance

What experience or moment in your life have you learned the most from? 
Submitted by AngieK. 

I can't be bothered scrounging for the exact true answer to this, but I think I learned a LOT from Cowes Camp.  This experience was blissful, in every sense of the word.

I learned that Spartan living enriched with lots of outdoor activities is a fantastic lifestyle

I learned that I was lazy and needed to be more active

I learned how to be myself for three continuous days in a row, not just 6 hours a day.  I learned to express myself more freely than usual and not hesitate in being impulsive. As a reward, unbreakable relationships were strenghthened.

I learned that teachers are human beings (although I knew this already really) with human lives and desires

I learned to release my fear of humiliation, and smile without restraint at people who deserve it.  I learned that smiling with all your heart earns a reply of the same magnitude :)

Finally, I learned what it was like to live in peace.

Oh, hell :'(  I loved camp